chapter 7, A seafarer's tale, hunt for the sea blade!

When we last left off the group was heading to Glashlaklfla. Now they'd been traveling for a while now, and along the way Dek realized something.

"Hey Gaesa? Isn't Glashlaklfla on an island?"

"Yeah, why?"

"We don't exactly have enough rods to hire a ship."

"We could always hire a raft."

(Everyone else.) "A raft? Seriously? Sounds cheap." Niaemal just face palmed.

(Fast-forward to a port town Inn.) Everyone except Gaesa and Ironok were in beds. The other two however were at the bar.

(bartender) "So can I get you two anything?"

(Gaesa) "Yeah. Two ales and a cheap raft to Glashlaklfla."

"A raft?"

 (Ironok) "We're a bit low on dough if ya know what I mean."

They went and sat down at a table.

(Gaesa) "So when we actually get there, there's the question of where to crash."

"Lets just disintegrate that bridge when we come to it."

They were about to head up to their rooms when they were suddenly pulled to the side by an old guy in a mariner's getup (you know, old blue frayed patchwork jacket with waaaaaaay too many pockets?). There was a crossbow in a holster on his hip and a weird sword slung across his back.

"I hear ye be lookin' fer passage teh Glashlaklfla (thunder outside)."

"Um. Yes?"

"Twas two months ago when we set sail. The air was fresh and full of salt. The sky was-",  just then Ironok interrupted.

"Dude, are you seriously reciting a sea tale? Like, right now?"

"Yeh. Now as I was sayin' the sky was clear and the wind was brisk."

Ironok got tired of the monologing and looked up.

"Hey narrator? Can you just cue the ripple dissolve already?!"


To be continued......................................................

chapter 6, spelunking in insanity part 3 (strange........... cantalope) wait, what???

When we last left off, a lever was being pulled. The bridge started extending slowly towards them while making that weird sound of sliding stone.

"Well guys looks like all ya have to do now is wait."

So they waited........................................ and waited.................................................... and waited...................

                                                                 (5 hours later)

and waited.......................................... and waited................................................ and waited..............
Everyone was asleep by this point because the bridge was barely halfway there.

                                                             (3 more hours later)

"Finally!"

Everyone except the Ghostons were lying in a tangled heap on the bridge. 

 (Ironok) "I can't believe it took 8 hours.

"Cfff you gt yrr hf hhh mof hofocae?"

Torogae apparently had his hoof in Niaemal's mouth. When they got untangled everyone went across the bridge and through a stone door. I'd like to say that the first thing they were aware of was the hugeness, but it was really the noise. It was SO loud that they had to close the apparently sound proof  door immediately after it was opened. Because it was so loud they had to sit in a circle and contemplate how to get through without going insane. Gaesa asked the first question.

"So........ Anyone have any ideas?"

Niaemal spoke up.

"We could use these no noise ear plugs."

They all decided this was the best option so they put them on, opened the door back up, and went inside. NOW what took them in was the hugeness. Dek was astounded by the shear size.

"Yeah.... this could take awhile."

"WHAT!?"

"I SAID THIS COULD TAKE AWHILE!"

So they went down into the canyon. Now they couldn't hear each other so it was very hard to communicate. Gaesa dashed over to a wall and did some hand signals. Unfortunately, no one new what they meant. Suddenly the ground started to shake. This sent Ironok into hypothesis mode.

"(Weird, Augaria doesn't get earthquakes.)"

A ghoston darted in front of  them and made signs to follow him. Fortunately everyone knew what this meant so they followed him into a hut that was built into the wall. On the way however, Gaesa was grumbling something about hand signals. When they entered the ghoston took out his own ear plugs from his ears and motioned for them to do the same.

"Okay can anyone hear me? We good? Okay."

Ironok inquired, "Hey, is your name Clevora Medohss?"

"It was," he says darkly, "but now it's Clek!", he says, perking up instantly.

"Oookay. So yeah we're down here because there's been an outbreak of mucelo-clenka."

"So you need me to cure it. Okay I can do that. But you guys need a way out of here. Didn't ya notice the shaking? There's a baselar (dun dun duh) down here!"

"A....... baselar? (dun dun duh)"

"Yes, a baselar (dun dun duh)."

Torogae was confused.

"Wait, what the @#%& is a baselar? (dun dun duh)"

"A giant serpentine creature with four tongues and sixty two stomachs."

Ironok inquired: "Wait, won't it have gone insane by now?"

"No.......... Baselars (dun dun duh) don't really have ears.......... Or vocal cords.......... Or a sense of humor for that matter."

(Gaesa)  "Well either way we'll have to kill it to get out of here."

"Why's that?"

Gaesa pointed out the window to show it lurking around the entrance. It was massive, twenty five times the length of a school bus and taller than an elephant. Along the spine were metal ridges, and along the sides were fin like projections. 

"Oh."

They all sat in a circle yet again and contemplated their best plan of attack. Ironok turned to Clek.

"So what do you know about baselars? (dun dun duh)"

"All I know is that it's skin is completely invulnerable to attacks."

(Gaesa) "So basically go for the eyes and the mouth."

(Niaemal) "Ok, I have an idea, but there's only a 6% chance it'll work."

"Well better than nothing."

"Ok you guys just have to distract it, I'll take care of the rest."

So with that in mind they all put their head phones back on and went out of the door. 

 and now................................................................................................. cue....boss........BATTLE!!!!!!!  

                                                 Subteranian Armored Snake

                                                               Baselar  

 Niaemal circled around to a rock outcropping and hid there, while the others ran at the giant snake. It tried hitting them with poisonous projectiles from it's mouth, luckily everyone just dodged them. Back to niaemal. 

"(Ok I just have to charge this up.)"

Back with the others. Gaesa had just managed to cut off one of the monster's tongues. Torogae then decided to take it up a notch.

"MINAETAURAHSS", and he then transformed into his humanoid form and was able to cut off two more tongues.
Back to Niaemal.

"(Ok it's fully charged. Now I just need a good shot.)"

Back with the others.
They had just gotten the last tongue cut off. The creature thrashed about screetching in pain and the noise was so loud it could be heard even with no noise ear plugs. Ironok was sent into hypothosis mode again.

"(I thought it wasn't supposed to have vocal cords.)"

Ironok was right in this reguard however what he didn't notice was that the baselar's (dun dun duh) eyes were glowing blue. Nor did he or anyone else notice the strange, froglike fifth tongue that was hiding inside the mouth. The giant serpent then noticed Niaemal on the rocks. The sharpshooter was standing up to get a good shot. The monster then shot out its 
fifth tongue. 

"(Ok Niaemal, wait for the right time, then let'r rip.)"

The tongue was almost to Niaemal when the sharpshooter let it loose.

"KAIA DREO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Chaos blast)"

The large beam incinerated its tongue and went down its throat causing the giant snake to blow up like a balloon. Then it blew up. Like the kaboom kind of blew up. The aftermath was kinda disgusting because there was bits of snake everywhere. It was then that Ironok noticed a white blob trying to get away. Luckily he managed to catch it in a specimen jar. Fast forward back to the surface.

"So Clek, think you'll able to help these guys out?"

"I should be able to handle it."

"Well see ya later then."

As the six companians went down the road from Random Out of Place Tile Boulivard Niaemal had an idea.

"Hey what if we did this kinda stuff for living?"

"What, like merks?"

"Yeah."

"Sounds like fun. We can set up base in Glashlaklfla."







To be continued........................

































                                                              

chapter 6, spelunking in insanity part 2 (hero...... kaira........) wait, what was that?

"Well this is a real pickle. Did not see that rope trap. Or the collapsing cliff."

The "pickle" he's talking about is the fact that when they finally got to dead drop ravine the ledge they were on collapsed when Gaesa activated a rope trap. They are all now hanging above the ravine. Gaesa is hanging upside down by his foot. The others except for the Ghostons were hanging on for dear life from his cape.

(Gaesa) "Hey Niaemal? Is your hand okay? It doesn't look too good."

"Yeah it's fine, it's just gone purple from hanging on too long.", He says sarcastically.  

"Well, can't you just use your other hand?"

"I can't do that because my other hand is a FREAKIN CANNON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Oookay forget I asked."

(Ironok) "Hass habahi a hoof hifea."

You're probably asking, 'why is he talking like that?'. Well since Ironok doesn't have any limbs he has to hold on with his mouth. The Ghostons, by the way, were looking around on the opposite ledge.

"Hey guys? I'm not sure if this helps, but Dek and I found a lever that extends a bridge reaching exactly under where you guys are. Pretty convenient if you ask me."

(Torogae) WELL THEN PULL THE @#$% THING!!!!!!!!!



To be continued..............

Mystery file: Kairathu

What follows is a passage from the journal of  professor Remblat Frizzlefrazz.



Tuesday, 6th of apoross, Werewak region, northeastern hemisphere.




Have discovered something in my travels. It seems to be an ancient temple of the pyramid styling. There is a large squarish entrance at the bottom which is lined with giant stone obelisks. I'm inside it now, many strange creatures are carved on the walls. Warriors breaking mountains, Aga bats with wings made of fire etc. I think this is what I'm looking for. The Ancient vault of the Kairathu. It seems the ancient Waks revered these mysterious creatures as deities. If they were that powerful it's no wonder they were seen as deities. The carving in the back is the strangest, depicting the six most powerful of these creatures the Kaigonbiria. Two twins, a serpent with a book, a flaming beast, a mage, and a warrior with dragon wings. Anyway there's a door here. I'm going to head in, d d d  deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeepeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeer.........................
(static)

Just so you know, this is an audio journal that was being relayed to a speaker and written down in an actual book. No one knows what happened to professor Frizzlefrazz however many claim that zombie corpses of the ancient waks brainwashed him so he would sell hair spray.
 

chapter 6, spelunking in insanity

Everyone was standing outside of a decrepit, abandoned mine shaft. 

Gaesa looked in, "Well, there's the entrance. Anyone want to..... go in first?"

Everyone else backed up and shook their heads.

"Ok, guess I'm goin' first."

"Tuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrn baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack.........................................."

"Huh?" Ironok turned around to see an old guy with a crazy look on his face.

"Tuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrn baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack.........................................."

Needless to say, they ignored the warning and went down the shaft. Quite quickly too, as this guy was starting to get on their nerves.

"This iiiiiis why I thiiiiiiiiiiiiink I should have been a burnin treeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee."

After saying this he turned to dust.
Meanwhile, in a place of infinite blackness sat a Kairathu. This place in particular is known as the dark zone, a place impossible to get into but even more impossible to get out of. Now this Kairathu in particular was watching our six heroes through a crystal orb he was holding in his third hand, which was on an arm sprouting out of his stomach.

"Hm..... So they're taking the path to insanity. Better plug their ears."


                                          To be continued..................................... 

reveiws of monologue

Welcome to R.O.M. where stars from the show review monologues, speeches, and poems from famous plays, events, and movies. Now here is Torogae Boverus reviewing, Hamlet's Soliloquy.


Alright lets just get this over with.        

To be or not to be "Well ain't that the question."

Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer

The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune "What arrows?"                         

Or to take arms against a sea of troubles "How the heck do you fight a sea!?"                          

And by opposing end them. "End what?" To die, to sleep--

No more--and by a sleep to say we end

The heartache, and the thousand natural shocks

That flesh is heir to. "How is flesh an heir to shocks?" 'Tis a consummation

Devoutly to be wished. To die, to sleep--

To sleep--perchance to dream: ay, there's the rub,

For in that sleep of death what dreams may come "What the heck?! Stop monologing and decide already!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"                      

When we have shuffled off this mortal coil,

Must give us pause. There's the respect "What respect? IT'S SO OBVIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

That makes calamity of so long life.

For who would bear the whips and scorns of time,

Th' oppressor's wrong, the proud man's contumely

The pangs of despised love, the law's delay,

The insolence of office, and the spurns   "Spurn? Is it like spawn with a really thick country accent?"

That patient merit of th' unworthy takes,

When he himself might his quietus make

With a bare bodkin? Who would fardels bear, "A bodkin?................ What's a bodkin? What does it even have to do with this!!!?"

To grunt and sweat under a weary life,

But that the dread of something after death, "Dude just climb into a spaceship, and head to Augaria. I'm pretty sure Ghostons don't dread it cuz they're already dead. 

The undiscovered country, from whose bourn

No traveller returns, puzzles the will,

And makes us rather bear those ills we have

Than fly to others that we know not of? "I would but I can't fly."

Thus conscience does make cowards of us all, "Coward? Okay, now I'm mad!"

And thus the native hue of resolution

Is sicklied o'er with the pale cast of thought,

And enterprise of great pitch and moment

With this regard their currents turn awry

And lose the name of action. -- Soft you now,

The fair Ophelia! -- Nymph, in thy orisons

Be all my sins remembered. "Dude just shut up!!!!! Ira Corai Mireia Dreo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (iron head meteor charge)  (shatter, crash, crumble, ouch)     Shakespeare,  GET A NEW HOBBY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"           (this was all made for the sake of comedy so please don't get the wrong idea  no one in my family really has anything against Will Shakespeare I just think a lot of his plays are really depressing)        

Chapter 5: EPICDEMIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ironok slithered out of the room with a serious expression on his face.

"I'm afraid this is beyond my skill."

Ironok whispered darkly, "Sir, your son has................ MUCELO-CLENKA  kabooms in the background."

DUN DUN DUN!!!! "Again!!?? Seriously, if it's the dynamite budget AGAIN I'm gonna be ticked!!!!!!!!!!

No, this time it's the special effects budget, "Ooooooookay." Just at that moment, Ironok heard laughing outside the window. He looked out to see Torogae. 

"Dude what stupid disease is that?"

"It's bad with a capital b. Mucelo-clenka is a virus that gets, gomu dory nasem(the song that doesn't end) stuck in your head till it's cured. Which is almost impossible." 

"Wait, I thought that virus was wiped out." They looked up to see Gaesa sitting on the roof. 

Niaemal walked over, "Wait, wasn't there this one guy who could cure it?"

"Yeah but now he's a ghoston that 'lives' in the dreaded, INSANITY CANYON!!!!! With the only way to get there being........................................ DEAD DROP RAVINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! wwwwwwwwwwwwwwiiiiiiiiiiiiiich happens to be right under us." 

(Niaemal)  "What.....? You said it was a canyon."

"An underground canyon. Echoing sounds everywhere. It's annoying enough to drive someone insane, hence the name."

(Gaesa)  "Well, who's up for some spelunking?"




2.....................................B................................................CONTINUED...................................................